Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Hate myself for being so Foolish.

I realli got enough from him..Realli enough..for the past 3yrs+ i had to stand all your nonsense..ur lies..your bloody hell character..

i cant help it by asking myself all the time, DID I OWN YOU ANYTHING THINGS IN MY PAST LIFE??!! why i olways kena all this from you...Tell me who can understand my feeling now..WHO CAN...??!!no one..or perhaps..i only can laugh at myself..as i DESERVE to get all this.

u olways embarrassed me infrnt of e crowd..now is u own me $$..i asked u to return me JUST $10..yet u fuckin show me attitude n threw e $ at me infrnt o e crowd today??!& i haf to go n pick it up myself like a begger yet u juz walk away lit nobody business??!! WTF! when u got wad u wanted..u very happy..treat me so well...but when u DONT...u ask me to FUCK OFF..show attitude to me..a WTF.... why muz u be so realistic??

becos o u..i lied to my parents..lost the trust from my parents..lied to my frens..gave up my hobby..even gave up my job n studies in e past JUST BECOS O U n yet...dis is wadd u gave me in return..For 3yrs+ all i had done so much for you...in e end its jus NOTHING even compared to wadd u wanted..

I had forgive you for millions of times..becos IM TOO STUPID to still think that you will change...I can tell you..without me which tried my best to change you from a pcs o SHIT to now the you..do you think u able to make it??!i bet you already kena AIDS..already mix with dos stupids PIGS n got diseases. thinkin tat i will easily forgive you..so you did it again n again..lie to me again n again...

Even its your fault..how could u blame me for your lies??Its damn tiring to everyday had to tink o u..worry for u..when u dun even fucking appreciate it at all...i realli dun understand you...wadd r u realli thinking...since tat day we fight..u returned me all e stuffs that i made for u on ur bdae,xmas & valentine day...U RETURN ME EVERY SINGLE TINGs that u tink its RUBBISH..yet dos belts,perfumes & liquor that i brought for u..WHERE IS IT??! good tings u dun return me..u very JIAN...

u tink all dos i made for u dun nid time??dun nid energy??dun nid effort??i spends nights, wasted hrs o slp juz to made tat to surprise u.. & when i gave u e tings..u was like..NO FEELINGS..juz pretendin to b happy.. u dun haf to say..i can see it with my own eyes.i keep quiet..wadd more u wan...i treat u eat..buy tings for u when i see things u like..made tings for u...gave u wadever u wanted.. WADD MORE U WANT!!??u nv even ask for those tings bck when we patched..u seems to even forget abt dos stuffs.

u oli noe hw to say nasty tings to me..scold me with all vulgarities ..embarrassed me infrnt o the crowd..make use o me.. WADD MORE DO U NOE !?!? why dun u ask urself HAVE U EVER REALLI MADE ME HAPPY B4 for e past 3yrs..i guess if accumulate my tears..its able to fill a bathtub already..

U asked me hu i tink im ?a princess??think u cant find other gals?think others gals wun buy tings for u?u even said e most nasty ting to me ......

"WHO E FUCK U TINK U R? A PRINCESS? TINK I CAN OLI F**K U?? I CAN NOW GO OUT N F**K OTHER GALS LA!! EVEN I DUN HAF GF I BET ALL E GALS R WILLING TO BUY TINGS N SPEND $ ON ME AH...CAN EVEN TREAT ME GO DRINK EVERYNITE ! "

why muz u say that to hurt me....wadd haf i done wrong...??!! pls sumone tel me wadd i had done wrong to him!!?? u dun even care abt me ..dun even bother to cal or msg me when u r SUPER FREE @ home..

Anyways..thats not e only tings that had happen..for 3yrs it had been happening again n again..i realli hate r/s now..hw i wish u dun even exist in my life...realli..i regretted doin everytin for u..realli realli regretted.. all i can blame is myself..no one else...im too silly, foolish..& most importantly..STUPID. jus lit wad u always said i am.

sooner or later..we will end dis nonsense...

why not...end now??
since u hate me..
i cant find any happiness now..not bcos without you by myside...(with or without u no difference)
But..bcos o you..i lost e most important ting from my family..esp my dad..tats TRUST. if i haf not known u..me n my dad's relationship will not be in dis state..

To my families & dear frens,
Sorry..that i had disappoint all of you in the past..

im tired of it..SICK n TIRED of it..Pls...someone..SLAP me n make me awake..
i wont give up my dreams from now on..i'll do wadd i like & wadd i tink its right...
i believe..without you..im still able to see the rainbow.=)
I'll will make myself happy.

♥ Cathy is the QUEEN ♥ Blythe-DoLL at... 8/20/2008 11:26:00 PM